An Empty Shell – A roomful of faces

 

“I look around a roomful of people, a roomful of faces, faces of people who are like me, in their lives and pains, faces filled with pain, pain so intense that it had etched its telltale lines on even the youngest of these faces.

And you know, you just know that we have all been there. There in that dark place; that dark place filled with pain – pain so intense to the point of being unbearable. The kind that can only be inflicted by the ones you love. And still you wait – cover your wounds and wait – again and again. And hurt you again they do, but you are still staying, waiting – for the hurt that you know will not stop. Somehow, even with the pain intensifying – we stay. And once more comes the pain – suffocating the very breath out of you, the life from your soul. I have my reasons, and though I may seem weak to you, it is strength that keeps me here.

Until I look in the mirror and see this thing that is supposed to be a human; just an empty shell.

Woman- depleted and false

Woman- depleted and false

And as the years go by, the shell becomes emptier, and emptier, from the hands that excavate every last drop of endurance. And as I look around, it is not one shell, but two, three, …. none of them has managed to escape.

And suddenly, “oh honey where are you? Where is my love?” – he says.

“Gone, gone, gone with all the pain you inflicted” – but does he understand? – No!

And imagine what it is like to have not one loved one inflicting the pain, but two, three, and more still ….

Well, it is a wonder that there is even a shell remaining – and I know that here in this roomful – it is a roomful of shells?

We will fill them again, yes, we will – and I will begin with them and after them.

And the ones who dole out the pain – will not be there among us anymore – my choice, their choice – and this time not anyone else’s.

Me - in the mirror

Me – in the mirror

And one day, I will look in the mirror and see …. Me

And others like me will be likewise

All in a roomful – and then, we will smile – really smile from the heart”.

Heartfelt feelings from me for I have been there – and today – I can smile, and better every day.

About Salwa

Salwa is a writer and author. Weaving magic with words backed up with research and a natural flair for beautiful writing.


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