Group Sharing – Camouflaged Therapy
“It’s strange, that feeling of being in a group – all strangers and the room so small that it almost closed in on me. What am I doing here, and why did I come in the first place? It is not me, I cannot be here with these people, whom I do not know or even share anything with. I am not going to participate, I will just let the hour pass, one way or the other then, I won’t come back next week.
What is there to share? – I can’t share anything with these people I don’t know. My life is my own and I just can’t tell anyone about it.
Sometime later, as I listened to one of the group, sharing an experience of her own – but she isn’t giving any details, and I don’t know what she is speaking about – all I know is that she is in pain, a pain that is to her as much as mine is to me.
And, then another woman was sharing more frankly – she in not shy and it seems that she has done this before, and what is stranger is that she is actually encouraging me to speak out, but I can’t.
At last, all the group have shared with their feelings, emotions, or an actual experience, all except me – but I still can’t so, I am just going to say an in-descriptive sentence that says nothing at all.
As we disperse, I realize that once we are out of the room no one really speaks about what we shared inside and that it really is a secret that we will all keep.
Home at last, I feel a strange pain in my body to the extent that I can barely move, and my eldest son is actually laughing at me! But then he had been in that game for a long time now, only I did not know what it had all been about.
Next week comes sooner than I expected, and as I toy with the idea of not going again, I find my self once more finishing the little informative lecture and going into the same small room – we are going to the closed group therapy where we share and support.
And again, I find myself asking me – what am I doing here – it is group therapy and I am here for that – only I am not really convinced that it works at all.
Well, I am all alone and I have no friends, going through hell at home, and I will just consider myself here just for the social part of it and I will say nothing at all, maybe just a tiny sentence like last week.
A year later, I am still attending the group therapy as I am now convinced it is, it is not only working but I am so much better, stronger – to the extent that I feel myself healing and I am actually happier despite the fact that conditions at home are only worsening never better. But it is all about me, I am better and what would surprise almost anybody who knows me or not, is that – I am actually guiding others to follow in my steps. Others who came much later than me, they look up to me, and as I share my progress, I am proud that they too are progressing along with me.
Two years and counting, I am still going strong, laughter is accessible, I am much happier and I can fight my fights, let go if I see that that is what is needed – my heart is healing more and more every day, it is open to life with all its sweetness – and it all starts with that little room for group therapy that I still go to and feel so nostalgic about.
Sharing with all those who don’t know about it – go to group therapy and heal bit by bit– we all need it. A warm growing feeling of safety as we build our strength”