Happy – Relative or Dependent
Happy, what is it to be happy? It is relative and it is as big or as small as we make it. We all ask ourselves a question that has no answer and to say the least, it is the most asked question in life. We don’t just ask ourselves, but we ask each other, we ask family, we ask friends – Are you Or am I – happy?
it is not in one area of life, but in all – work, marriage, relationships, friendships – each one of them gives us some happiness, and each one of them can take us up or bring us down – as high or as low as we allow it to do to us.
But why is it that we give something or someone so much importance that it can affect our lives. Those days when we feel tired, deflated, sad – we feel so pathetic that we need anyone to just see how bad we are feeling – to stoke, to soothe.
Let me tell you that is normal, that is acceptable – we are all made of emotions, nerves – and we are susceptible to those ups and downs.
But here I will stop and quote Buddha teaching “Have a mind that is open to everything and attached to nothing”.
We depend too much on those around us, we wrap ourselves around them suffocating them and ourselves – let them go, they will only stay or come back if they care as much as you do.
To that end, it is almost obvious wherein lies the problem: the root to suffering is attachment.
What exactly that means is simple but maybe I would like to clarify it to myself, not to anyone else: it is how much we get attached to something, or someone, or even to a place that makes us get hurt and suffer when we have to sever that tie, go away or are forced to break off a relationship – we suffer.
Savor even the suffering, let it take its course, and do not let it take you down – maybe that sounds almost callous, impossible – sometimes but not always.
And another trick is when we suffer, we need those little things that comfort us:
- Comfortable clothes!
- A cup of tea or coffee – it is not to have a calming effect!
- Our own little domain or that place where you feel at home!
- A friend – that special friend who has your back even if they are not close geographically or emotionally, but you know that you can depend on them.
- Something to hold onto as the wave passes.