The importance over the years
God created us with a natural attraction for the opposite sex, an attraction that makes the procreation process he blessed us with to really be a blessing. This makes the desire to mate a natural one, based on feelings, care, tenderness, and love. These feelings start to manifest themselves with the onset of adolescence. An adolescent is but a child in the body of an adult and they don’t understand the feelings that come with the changes in their bodies, as such we need to be there with them and for them.
Parents need to be available for our children, unconditional parental love and support is vital.
– Youth and children receive so many distorted and toxic messages about sexual intimacy. Home is the only source that is reliable, so, we need to talk to them about it. Not only that, but we need to do that before someone else does because if we don’t someone else will get there before us and we have no idea what they will tell them or what their motives are. We can’t wait until our children’s bodies start changing then, start talking to them about sex. The issue of sexual intimacy and bodily changes should be layered from the time they are but little children, using any visual and simple examples from real life, letting the details increase and get deeper as they grow, so does their minds and body.
– Parents relating to children continuously is the key to being able to broach any topic, but if we can’t relate to our children on a daily basis and being comfortable talking about things, then, rest assured we will not be able to do that when we need the most.
Factors to keep in mind when we talk to our children:
– Start talking to them when they are just toddlers, teaching them that their bodies are sacred, not to allow anybody to touch them. At this point, it is wise to illustrate what they should allow, what they shouldn’t. they have to know and feel that they can tell you about anything and anytime. A safe haven for them to always rush to, and be sure that you will accept and support them in any situation. This step is very important as it prevents a large amount of abuse and sometimes before it happens.
– Emphasize that the world views sex as a physical experience only, let them know that that is not the case. Teach them what the Lord has ordained for us Christians, the beauty of a complete relationship with Christ. The fulfillment achieved through marriage and the countless blessings and happiness gained from the relationship; both physical and emotional; a unity of body and spirit.
– Talk about the physical aspect of healthy sexuality but focus on the emotional and relational aspects as well, this prepares the path for a strong marriage. Teach them plainly, openly and boldly. Do not beat around the bush; they do not need long speeches, just the plain facts.
– Not all children are the same, let God guide you as to the best way to approach each one of your children.
– Share with them your life experiences, that will make them able to come and share with you their life experiences. This way you will have an opening to always be able to reach them bit by bit as they grow up.