Tied up

“I see the pain, and I wish I could lift it – a broken arm, a broken leg would heal. But a broken soul, how could I reach inside and touch that pain. “Make it go away Mummy” – a child would say, and a mother makes the pain go away, she kisses the ailment and watches as the smile comes back to her baby’s face.”

But as you see the pain in a woman’s eye, you recognize it – for you had been there before – and yet there is nothing that can be done. It is her own personal pain, and no one can carry it for her, but having been there, you know as you see it in her eyes, and still, you are all tied up.

So tied up that you are helpless as you see her suffering, struggling to get out from that place she is locked in.

On the other hand, there is another who not only knows where she is, her problems. In fact, she might even be in a reasonably good relationship and knows exactly how she can improve her situation – but simply insists not to – and yes, you might be tied up there, but let us agree that she does not want to come out from where she is. Maybe, she has made a well-informed decision that the place she is in is the best for her, or perhaps she could not dare to try strange waters. Others know exactly what they ate doing, but usually, those will not be sitting here with us – those who are suffering from their situation – they know where they are and had made studied and calculated steps to reach such a situation. Not judging, being comfortable, there is all that matters.

This is not the situation that needs a hand to help out, but that one who knows not where her pain is from, who needs to see what is causing it, and begin to work on it.

It is those trapped eyes, those that stare from the wounded soul – those are the ones that need to find a way out – a helping hand.

But then, we never really help – all that can be done is hold up a lamp as you go your path, as you become an example for others to follow.

The most important question is, what is it that ties us up?

The answer is invariably someone that we love, or care about enough to allow them to hurt us. Let us face the first most crucial fact: if we do not care about a person or his/ her opinion matters, then they would not be able to hurt us. It does not have to be a husband of a boyfriend if you are a woman, because yes, men suffer too.

For women

  • A husband is top of the list for inflicting pain – emotional is more detrimental than physical (we will discuss each one in detail).
  • A boyfriend may have as much weight as a husband except for the binding paper.
  • A mother leaves many scars and wounds and, in this case, may never heal.
  • A sister – yes, I repeat that – or a brother.
  • In short, anyone that we let have enough power over us.

For men

Sadly, you suffer while having a mask that always says, “We are invincible.”

  • Mothers leave equal scars on boys as well as girls. In fact, she may leave more on a boy, and it stays on forever.
  • Wives – some are just as abusive as husbands are to women.
  • Repeating, anyone that we let have enough power over us.

About Salwa

Salwa is a writer and author. Weaving magic with words backed up with research and a natural flair for beautiful writing.


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